saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
