I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
No subtext here. People are naked.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
