i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
