I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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