Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
