he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
