i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
