I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
