i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
