I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
