The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
