Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
