for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
