he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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