like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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