Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
