these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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