whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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