Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
