There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
