trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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