Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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