No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
