Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize