Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
