i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
