btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
