But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They took my balls.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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