Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
