a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
