all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
