seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize