I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
