2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
