You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
