he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
