I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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