i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
