I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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