So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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