remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
