i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
