And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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