He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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