so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
