I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
