so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My nipple is on Facebook.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
