Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
