its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
