what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize