This is not my ceiling
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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