he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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