i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
