hotel room ftw
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
