Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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