I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
