Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize