Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
