Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize