You're completely useless in the revolution.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
