During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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