Screwed.edu
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
