She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
