K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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