I want to have your abortion
Michael Bay diarrhea
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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